子育てについて、友人や両親に相談するママパパも多いかと思います。友人はこう言ってたけど、両親はこう言ってたなど…何が正しいのか、わからなくなることがあるのではないでしょうか？私もそうでした！
検診で言われること、友人の言うこと、両親の言うこと…みんな違うので混乱していました…。しかし、今となって気づいたこと、それは…【子育てに正解はない！！】
いろんな人からアドバイスを受けることは良いことだと思います。それをどうやって受け止めるか…ここが大切なのかなと実感しました。
子育ての正解？母乳じゃないとだめなの？
祖父母世代にこの質問をするとほとんどの人が「母乳は大切よ」「ミルクなんてかわいそう」「母乳で頑張りなさい」こういった答えが多いように感じます。でも、今はミルクも当たり前の時代です。
私は母乳が出ましたが、生まれて2〜3ヶ月はミルクとの混合でした。初めての子育てで疲弊する身体、兄弟のお世話がある、仕事復帰を考えているから哺乳瓶に慣れさせたい、パパにも子どもと関わるきっかけをつくりたい、皆さん色々な事情があります。
母乳じゃないと駄目な理由なんてありません。確かに、母乳には赤ちゃんに必要な栄養素がたっぷりです。しかし、ミルクだって負けていません！母乳と同じような成分を配合しているので大丈夫です。体調や事情に合わせて使うことに罪悪感や後ろめたさを感じる必要はないと思います。
保育園はかわいそう？
昔は女性は家庭を守り、男性は働く…こういった風習といいますか、考え方が一般的でした。しかし、今は共働き世帯が多いですよね。
時代やライフスタイルが変わっていく中で「まだ小さいのに預けるなんてかわいそう」と言う言葉が、いまだに聞こえてきます。いろんな形の家庭があるので、この言葉にとらわれる必要はないと思います。
私も実際に言われたことがあります。しかし、元々仕事が好きだったこともありますし、経済面も考えて預けて働こうと決めました。また、働いていなくても、ママのリフレッシュする時間は必要です。
私も仕事復帰前でしたが、どうしても外せない用事や通院などがあり、一時保育を利用したりもしました。頼れるところ、利用できるところを上手に活用していくのも、一つの子育て術だと思います。
レトルト食品は甘えてるだけ？
今は、いろんなレトルト食品がありますよね。離乳食にもたくさんの種類が出ています。ただ、祖父母世代の頃には今ほどの種類もなかったでしょう。
料理が苦手、時間がかかる…それでも頑張って作ってきたと思います。本当に尊敬します！しかし…私はずぼらで、料理はしますが、好きな方ではありません。
初めての離乳食では、うまくトロトロなお粥が作れず、実母に助けを求めたほどです。時間をかけてやっと作る、これが毎日となると、私にとってはストレスでした。
さらに3回食なんて…気が遠くなりました。苦手なことを毎日するのは、誰でも苦痛ですよね。なので、私はレトルトに頼っていました。本当に便利ですね。
お粥からおかず、果物まであるんです！レトルトに抵抗のある祖父母であっても、目の前で美味しそうに食べる孫の姿をみれば、少しは気持ちが変わるかもしれませんね。
周りの意見は参考程度に。自分なりの育児が正解！
毎日たくさんの家事をこなし、育児も頑張るママや休まず働くパパにとっては、何気ない一言や当時の子育てと比べられるのは悲しいものです。アドバイスとして言ったつもりでも、逆に追い詰めてしうこともあります。
相手に悪気がないのが分かっていても、考えてしまいますよね。割り切ることは難しいかもしれませんが、祖父母世代の子育てとの違いについて知ることで、気持ちが楽になることもあるかもしれません。それぞれの家庭にあった子育てを見つけて行きましょう。
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